For This House
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
Lately, I feel like I have too many tabs open in my brain.
It isn’t surprising: My computer has countless tabs open that I just can’t seem to close. My planner is stuffed with papers that need to be sorted. My to-do list is a mile long and getting longer. The dishes keep piling up.
All the while, making progress just gets more difficult because I can’t calm my brain and slow my thinking long enough to focus on one simple task. This doesn’t even take into account wanting to complete a task in one sitting, which is downright impossible with a toddler.
Ugh. Doesn’t it stress you out just reading that? Can you relate? I’ve had a few weeks recently where I just can’t seem to get any of my brain tabs to close, leading to exhaustion, disconnection, and frustration.
To overcome this mental overwhelm, I realized I needed to be informed and proactive—understanding why it happens, creating immediate relief, and addressing the root causes.
I remember learning about Cognitive Load Theory in my training to become a teacher, but I feel like the knowledge might be even more applicable to motherhood than it was to teaching. The increasing number of times I hear or experience “brain fog” throughout my day and this BBC article just convinces me: The cognitive load we carry and how we carry it has a huge impact on our ability to function and thrive.
Cognitive Load Theory implies that our brains depend on the “working memory” to tackle problems and process information, but this working memory has strict limits—both in how much it can hold and for how long.
When we face unfamiliar tasks, we depend heavily on our working memory to figure things out step by step. In contrast, time-management experts have transferred these processes to long-term memory, allowing them to complete tasks efficiently and with minimal mental strain.
The problem comes when we continuously pile new tasks onto our mental plate without completing existing ones. Each incomplete task occupies valuable space in our limited working memory. Eventually, this leads to what feels like a system crash. Our working memory simply wasn’t designed to juggle an endless stream of open tasks.
Think of your brain’s capacity as being divided into three types of mental effort:
When you have too many tabs open in your brain, you’re maxing out on the first two types of load, leaving no space for the third type that actually helps you grow and learn. This is why you feel mentally exhausted at the end of a busy day, yet feel as if you have accomplished very little of value.
Your brain might be overloaded with too many mental tabs if you notice:
When left unchecked, chronic mental overload doesn’t just feel uncomfortable—it profoundly impacts our ability to function. (Speaking from experience here.)
When you’re in the midst of mental overwhelm, I’ve found these strategies can provide immediate relief:
Grab a piece of paper. Set a time for 2 minutes. Write down everything on your mind without filtering or sorting. This transfers the burden from your limited working memory onto paper, creating immediate mental space. Don’t worry about organizing—just get it all out.
(This is something I will often do on a Friday or Saturday evening knowing I want to be present with my family for the weekend without worrying about a plethora of miscellaneous tasks.)
Now that your thoughts are visible (assuming you just completed your brain dump exercise), practice labeling or categorizing them. Develop categories that work best for you. Some of mine are:
This sorting process helps my brain focus on what actually needs my mental energy right now, and what can wait for later.
Our physical state directly impacts our mental state:
Quick fixes help in the moment, but lasting change only comes if we address both the symptoms and the root causes.
Set routines and master them. When morning routines, meal prep, and evening wind-downs become automatic, they stop draining your working memory.
Break down complex tasks into smaller steps. A series of small actions doesn’t overwhelm like one big project does.
Be disciplined about distractions. Put your phone in another room, close actual browser tabs, and use website, ad, or app blockers as needed. Multitasking is a myth that dramatically increases mental strain. (Check out this blog for more!)
Organize your time intentionally. Try creating blocks for different types of work, or different days for different focuses (Monday for cleaning, Tuesday for errands) instead of juggling everything daily.
Set boundaries and learn to say no. Guard your mind and time to prevent tab overload. For me, this includes saying “no” to myself and my own harebrained ideas!
Recognize perfectionism as a tab multiplier. Ask yourself: “Is this good enough for its purpose?” or “Is perfection worth my mental peace?”
Care for your whole self. Manage stress, prioritize sleep and nutrition, and give your brain regular quiet breaks (not just “breaks” to scroll on your phone).
Make peace with the unfinished. Life with littles is THE season to embrace the perpetually incomplete. Shifting your mindset from “perfection” to “progress” is a game-changer. (This blog about letting go of time perfectionism is full of encouragement on how to shift your mindset!)
Starting and ending your day with quiet time can also help you set intentions and focus your priorities before you open mental tabs for the day. Even five minutes of focused time with the Lord can center your mind.
If you need a place to get started, check out this Jesus Calling devotional by Catherine Claire Larson. She writes about how “God’s inviting you to unburden yourself because this over-extended, over-exhausted, Sunday-put-together-Monday-falling-apart version of you isn’t the life He has” planned and it helped me reorient my heart.
As Christians, we should also strive to take our thoughts captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Not only is this a spiritual guideline, it’s also a practical mental health guideline for identifying and redirecting unhelpful thought patterns. I love how much of Paul’s writings are also there to remind us to care for our bodies—God created them! He knows how we function best!
When you reduce unnecessary mental clutter and address the root causes, you create space for what truly matters to you. The goal isn’t an empty mind but rather having the right tabs open at the right time.
Lord, my mind feels cluttered and overwhelmed. Help me discern what tasks need my attention. Give me wisdom to guard my mind, discipline to create helpful habits, and grace to accept my limitations. Remind me that my worth is measured by your love, not my productivity. Slow my busy thoughts that I might hear your still, small voice. Amen.
Ally is the primary founder of For This House. She just finished renovating a cute, old house in small town Washington where she lives with her husband and young son. Ally is a teacher by trade, but also enjoys library cookbooks and watching Downton Abbey. Learn more about Ally.
Ally is the primary founder of For This House. She just finished renovating a cute, old house in small town Washington where she lives with her husband and young son. Ally is a teacher by trade, but also enjoys library cookbooks and watching Downton Abbey. Learn more about Ally.