For This House
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
March 2, 2024 | 5 min read
Ally Veldhuisen
Growing up, I had awesome neighbors. As a kid, I remember running over to their houses, knocking on their doors, and being whisked inside to play just as quickly as I had arrived. While I didn’t realize the magic in this as a child, the warm, welcoming sensation of being received without a hesitation, grimace, or excuse is far from lost on me now.
This experience was two-fold. Just as I would be welcomed into my neighbors’ homes, I would usher kids right back into my own. I never worried how this impacted my mom or gave a second thought to how clean our living room was, and while my own son is too little to do this to me yet, I feel an anxious tug on my heart as I anticipate this in my future.
Just the other day I received some unannounced guests at my door and felt a subtle flood of panic wash over my mind as I tumbled through the list of everything that I wished I could do before they walked through the door. It left me wondering: How did this happen?
How did I evolve from a child who welcomed on a whim to an adult with a deep desire for fellowship and generous hospitality, yet an aversion to unexpected guests? When did my culture shift from drop-ins to carefully curated gatherings and scheduled interactions.
While I am certainly one to praise the value of a calendar (my planner and I are TIGHT), I’ve noticed that my tendency to plan is choking out the art–and subsequent beauty–of spontaneous visits.
Unexpected visits invite authenticity and vulnerability in a way organized interactions cannot. When we lack time to prepare, it allows for more genuine connection. Being unable to put a “face” on, do the dishes, or think about what to say provides a space for realness that is missing in our scheduled, routined lives.
While surprise guests heighten our awareness of everything that is undone in our homes, they can also remind us to prioritize presence and enjoy the moment, rather than focus on tasks and to-do lists. The arrival of someone we weren’t expecting raises an opportunity to set aside tasks and be fully present with loved ones.
This reminds me of Mary and Martha welcoming Jesus in Luke 10. In this story, Martha busies herself with preparations to welcome Jesus properly. Mary simply sits at Jesus’ feet, listening to him speak. When Martha asks Jesus to scold Mary for not helping, Jesus says, “Mary has chosen what is better.” How often am I busy and fretful like Martha, when I strive to be peaceful and present like Mary. It is so easy to forget the purpose of fellowship in the midst of meeting my own harried expectations of what it should look like.
Of course, welcoming spontaneous guests also comes with challenges. Surprise visits can cause a wide array of inconveniences.
I get it. It can be jarring to be caught off guard. It’s much more pleasant to be prepared and able to welcome others with our best foot forward. All the same, there’s something about having others pop in that is good for the soul.
Resist the tendency to dwell on the discomfort or disruption. When we pretend to welcome, instead of opening our hearts with our homes, we miss out on the benefits of calling others into our here and now and not just our collected and perfected.
Often we feel overwhelmed by unexpected guests because our own lives are lacking a sense of order. We will always find ourselves in seasons where things (laundry, dishes, bills, cooking, relationships, etc.) feel unmanageable, or like we can’t quite keep up, but setting sustainable routines can help. These routines become habitual and provide a sense of order and expectation in our lives.
Here are some tips that will not only help to soothe the “undone” feeling in our homes, helping us to relax in our own spaces, but will also aid in the transition as we whisk inside whoever we find on our doorstep.
Think nuts, fruits, crackers, cheese, baked goods, etc. Things that are easy to throw together and that your family likes to eat. Find YOUR thing. In the book, Holy Hygge, author Jamie Erickson talks about keeping loaves of banana bread and batches of pasta in her freezer so that she always has something on hand for guests. She writes about the monotony of the same foods in a beautiful light – describing the expected items as a form of “hygge” for others who come knocking on her door.
Do dishes and pick up clutter daily. Not only will this help lessen the mental load for yourself, but it will also keep your home guest-ready. I have followed an account on Instagram called “Clean Mama” for years, and they recommend doing 5 Daily cleaning tasks every day, then assigning a day of the week to each remaining task. Their system is genius, and while I don’t follow theirs precisely, it helped me hone a schedule that works for my space, schedule, and time commitment. (Anyone else hate cleaning? Compartmentalizing into bite-sized chunks has really helped me!)
Greet them warmly and focus on connection. If they’re showing up without warning, they probably didn’t bring any rubber gloves to do an inspection of the dust content on your bookshelves. They also probably didn’t arrive expecting to receive a slice of fresh frittata from your oven. While they may feel blessed by a calming space and a thoughtful food offering, remember that they are there for you. Be present and attentive to them, rather than to your space.
In the end, welcoming unexpected guests is an act of love and hospitality that blesses both the host and the visitor. While it may catch us off guard initially, embracing surprise visits provides an opportunity to build deeper connections and savor the gift of time together.
My hope is that we can open our doors and hearts a little wider to impromptu encounters, focusing more on the people than the imperfect places we invite them into. Though it requires flexibility and grace, a willingness to welcome the unplanned can fill our lives with meaningful memories, deepen our relationships, and remind us of what matters most.
Lord,
As we invite guests into this space, I pray that they would be enveloped by love. I ask that your light would pour out of our home, uplifting their spirits, welcoming them, and bringing them back into your peace.
Focus my thoughts on the needs of our guests, rather than my own need to keep up appearances. Remind me that I am serving you by loving them well. May those who arrive here leave seeking you.
Help me to release my plans and expectations for the day so that I will be ready to receive what you have put on my calendar. Pull me closer to your heart so that my motivations for welcoming others, for keeping my home, for preparing for the unexpected will flow out of a deep relationship with you.
Raise an abundance of grace, flexibility, and joy in me as I open my doors to both planned and surprise visitors. Let my hospitality reflect your generous spirit. Guide my actions, words, and thoughts to build meaningful connections with each person you bring through my door.
Thank you for the beautiful gift of community and relationships. May our home be a nurturing place of acceptance and care for all who enter–and may all who enter be drawn back into you.
Amen.