For This House
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
February 24, 2025 | 15 min read
Emily Van Eps
"What the heart loves, the will chooses, and the mind justifies."
This quote from a recent sermon at my church has been echoing in my mind lately as I reflect on my recent decision to delete social media apps from my phone.
As a 30-year-old stay-at-home mom to my energetic three-year-old and sweet 8-month-old, I had justified my social media use as a necessary connection to the outside world. My heart loved the easy dopamine hits of likes and comments, and my will chose to reach for my phone in every spare moment—during nursing sessions, while the girls napped, and especially after their bedtime.
But something wasn’t right. My thoughts were scattered, my focus fragmented. I couldn’t keep a single train of thought on the tracks, and I blamed it on the “mom brain” and the mental load of thinking for an entire household.
Then, through what I can only describe as divine timing, I started encountering the concept of neuroplasticity everywhere—first in a parenting book called “No Drama Discipline,” then in a sermon at my church, and finally in Liz Bagwell’s “Rewire Your Brain” podcast. The message was clear: our brains are plastic, moldable, and capable of real change based on our habits and inputs.
This hit me like a lightning bolt. I had been feeding my undiagnosed ADHD brain a constant stream of rapid-fire information, training it to expect—and crave—endless stimulation. Instagram kept me “connected” to friends from high school, college, and family from across the country, while Facebook parenting groups gave me a sense of community.
But at what cost?
Three weeks ago, I deleted both apps from my phone. I won’t sugar-coat it—the change hasn’t been easy. The isolation of stay-at-home motherhood feels more acute without that steady trickle of virtual connection. But there’s no more mindless scrolling while nursing at 3 AM and no more comparing my day to carefully curated snapshots of other moms’ lives.
Let me take a moment to explain what I’ve learned about neuroplasticity because understanding this concept has revolutionized how I think about my daily choices.
Neuroplasticity is our brain’s remarkable ability to form new neural connections and rewire itself based on our experiences and behaviors. Think of your brain as a vast network of paths through a forest. The more you walk a particular path, the more worn and established it becomes and the less traveled paths gradually grow over.
This is exactly what had happened in my brain with social media. Every time I reached for my phone during a quiet moment, every scroll through Instagram while nursing, every bedtime Facebook, check I was wearing that path deeper and deeper.
For those with ADHD, this path-wearing is particularly intense because our brains are already wired to seek novelty and quick dopamine hits. Social media became my well-worn highway, while potential paths toward sustained attention and focus were growing over with weeds.
The science behind this fascinated me. Each time we act or think, neurons in our brain fire together, forming connections. The more often these neurons fire together, the stronger their connection becomes – this is the essence of “neurons that fire together, wire together.”
My social media habit had LITERALLY shaped my neural pathways to expect and crave constant stimulation, making it increasingly difficult to focus on single tasks or maintain coherent thoughts.
Can you relate?
But here’s the beautiful thing about neuroplasticity: it works both ways. Just as my brain had adapted to the frenetic pace of social media, it could also adapt to new, healthier patterns. In these few weeks since deleting the apps, I’ve noticed remarkable changes.
Each time I pick up a book instead of my phone, I’m rewiring my neural pathways. The more I read, the stronger these pathways become, and I’ve noticed my ability to focus on a single story has dramatically improved.
The same principle applies to my ADHD. Where I once blamed motherhood for my scattered thoughts, I’m now understanding how the constant stream of social media was exacerbating my natural tendencies toward distraction. Without the apps, my brain is learning to settle into longer periods of focus. Tasks that once felt overwhelming—like organizing the playroom or meal planning—now feel more manageable. It’s not that my ADHD has disappeared, but rather that I’m giving my brain the space it needs to form new, more productive neural pathways.
This understanding of brain plasticity has also transformed my approach to faith and prayer. Just as our brains form physical pathways through repeated behaviors, they also form spiritual and emotional pathways through our thought patterns and practices. When I replaced social media scrolling with prayer and scripture reflection, I wasn’t just changing a habit, I was rewiring my brain’s response to quiet moments, and thus, changing my life.
The scientific concept of neuroplasticity beautifully aligns with what Scripture tells us about renewal of the mind. Romans 12:2 takes on new meaning when you understand that our brains are physically capable of transformation. Each time I choose to turn to God instead of my phone, I’m not just making a spiritual choice – I’m creating new neural pathways that make it easier to choose Him again next time. (Isn’t it amazing how even science points to Him?!)
In practical terms, this has looked like replacing my social media triggers with new responses:
The isolation of stay-at-home motherhood still exists, but I’m learning to address it in ways that actually nurture my brain and spirit rather than just distract me from the loneliness. I’m being more intentional about creating in-person connections, and I’ve found that these real-world interactions provide the kind of deep, meaningful support that social media only mimicked.
The transformation hasn’t been instant, and there are still moments when I miss the easy connection of social media. But understanding the concept of neuroplasticity has helped me stay committed to this change. Each day without social media is another day of building new neural pathways, of training my brain to find satisfaction in deeper, more meaningful pursuits.
…especially those struggling with ADHD or feeling overwhelmed by the constant input of social media. Your brain is incredibly adaptable. Every small choice to step away from the scroll and toward something more life-giving. Those changes add up over time, creating new patterns of thinking and behaving that align more closely with who you want to be.
Remember that quote I started with? “What the heart loves, the will chooses, and the mind justifies.” Understanding neuroplasticity has helped me see how true this is. Our choices shape our brain’s physical structure, which in turn influences our future choices.
By choosing to love what is real, present, and eternal, we’re not just making momentary decisions – we’re sculpting our brains to better reflect the people God created us to be.
The journey of rewiring our brains isn’t always easy, but it is always possible. And in my experience, the clarity, peace, and deeper connections that come from choosing real life over scrolling are worth every challenging moment of change.
Dear God,
Thank you for creating our brains with the incredible ability to change and grow. As we work to rewire our minds away from constant distraction, help us create new pathways that lead to You. Give us patience in this journey of transformation, and remind us that each small choice shapes who we’re becoming. Help us model what it means to live with focused, present hearts.
Amen
If you take this advice seriously and delete social media apps from your phone, we hope you’ll join our email list to get these blogs straight to your inbox in lieu of our social posts announcing the new blogs each Monday.
Emily is a founder of For This House, and the middle sister to Lauren and Ally. She is a graphic design maven by trade, currently living in small-town and staying home with her two beautiful girls. Learn more about Emily.