For This House
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
April 28, 2025 | 14 min read
Jessica Alsum, guest author
I think we can all collectively agree that 2024 was a ride.
For me, it was a year of so many unexpected things.
At 32 years old my husband and I found ourselves at a crossroads with two young boys and a decision.
Do we try to add a third child?
Life was finally starting to feel easier. We were past the toddler phases and everyone was sleeping through the night but our oldest had started asking for a sibling.
Flash forward to January, and two pink lines—we were excited to be expecting again. I had just started teaching theatre classes at our church co-op, and life was busy.
Unfortunately, the unexpected happened at 10 weeks in March, and I woke up to find some spots that set me on edge. “Not again,” I thought. I was holding on to hope that I couldn’t possibly be having another miscarriage, yet here I was, 7 years later, and it was just as painful as the last.
As we left the ultrasound confirming the loss of our sweet babe, I turned on our radio, and a song called “Come What May” by We Are Messengers came on. I worshipped and cried with the lyrics:
“Sometimes sorrow is the door to peace, sometimes heartache is the gift I need, you’re faithful, you’re faithful, in all things.”
Little did I know this song was foreshadowing the year I was going to have, and just marking the first unexpected event of our year.
Then came April. My husband’s family knew his grandmother didn’t have much time left. While there had been a couple of scares, she always bounced back. Then one day we got the text that this time was most likely to be the last time to visit her.
We spent days going to the ward and sitting with Grandma Rose, the family constantly fluttering in and out to say goodbyes, sing hymns, and tell her how much they loved her.
Fresh off of pregnancy hormones, this hit me hard. It was like I had gained a grandparent through marriage, only to lose her again. I wished I had spent more time with her yet I couldn’t grasp any time back.
After she passed I found out I was pregnant again. The fear and anxieties of the what ifs and hoping this one would stay were hard to shake off. I was heartbroken as we went to Grandma Rose’s funeral knowing she wouldn’t know this sweet baby like she had loved on my boys.
This pregnancy was different. I was soooooo sick which was a new experience. I had gotten pregnant fresh off my miscarriage. With my other pregnancies, my only symptom was extreme fatigue. This time, my all-day sickness left me reeling.
Just as I started to feel better we lost chickens. (I know this one sounds very silly but our chickens are our family). They are beloved by my sons and carried around, put into power wheels, carted around the yard, and just like that our flock was decimated by dogs and other predators.
Just when I felt like I couldn’t handle another thing I watched as my husband lost out on business opportunities, and the icing on the metaphorical cake was the sting of a loss of a friendship.
It was one unexpected thing after another.
I confided in a friend and told her, “I just feel like I’m constantly losing.” And in a quiet response back, she said, “But look at what you’ve gained.”
It was a jolt to my system that woke me up and I realized I hadn’t been doing one crucial thing through these unexpected events:
Checking my perspective.
I had been so focused on what I was losing and feeling sorry for myself and my family, that I had forgotten to coach myself on what the Bible said about my circumstances.
So off I went.
It first brought me to Paul.
Philippians 4:11-13 says: “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
Paul had been through all sorts of trials. And some unexpected ones!
He was jailed, shipwrecked, he got bitten by a snake, he had a thorn in his flesh he repeatedly asked God to remove, and that’s just a short version. Yet he had a calm unshaken confidence in the face of the unexpected.
It wasn’t because his life was perfect that he learned to be content and unshaken. It was because his faith and trust had been tested and grown by walking through the unexpected that taught Paul that regardless of whether expected or not, he could trust in God.
It also brought me to one of my favorite passages in James.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4
“Pure joy?! Can I consider it pure joy?”, I asked myself. I can’t say that I viewed my circumstances as pure joy and it struck me that I had replaced God’s perspective of “consider it pure joy” with my own.
My perspective tainted everything in life with a dull, muddy brown. It also reminded me that I had been so focused on myself that I had forgotten this passage in 1 Corinthians.
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31
I had to repent and ask God for forgiveness. It was humbling. I had let life sweep me away instead of being firmly rooted and planted in Christ.
When unexpected things happen we often view them as bad things.
We think it must mean something went wrong. We want life to stay the same, consistent, and comfortable but so often that’s not God’s purpose for us in life.
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Called according to His purpose, not mine.
I confronted myself and faced the music.
If I truly believe that God is who he says he is, that he is good and that he works things out for my good, then even the unexpected things were ultimately for my good.
Even in the loss of a pregnancy.
Even in the loss of a loved one.
Even in lost business deals.
Even in lost friendships
And even in lost chickens.
All those things will still sting or hurt—the unfortunate reality is that we live in a fallen world—but it does mean we can trust in God to work things in our lives for good even if we don’t understand it in the season.
Now on the other side of experiencing pregnancy losses and going through the valleys, I finally understood.
I had “lost,” but what had I gained?
I had lost a pregnancy, but gained faith that had been tested, and developed resilience and quiet confidence in God’s promises.
We had lost business opportunities, but grew in our faith and trust that God always provides.
Friendships were lost, but I gained new ones and the experience refined me and purified my heart.
I found pure joy that God was still working in my life. My character grew.
It also led us to Timothy James—our third son—who OF COURSE came in the most unexpected, fast and precipitous home birth on our bathroom floor.
Talk about the unexpected! But I just had to chuckle and find joy in how God works things out in funny ways.
This baby is such an amazing gift from above that we are so grateful for, but getting here required going through the unexpected to be prepared to receive it.
I do not know what unexpected things you may be facing as you read this.
Maybe it’s infertility or a lost job.
Maybe you’re struggling with knowing how to parent a strong-willed child.
Maybe it is an unforeseen diagnosis.
Or you feel like you’re too far gone for God to redeem.
Whatever unexpected thing you’re facing, I hope that I can remind you that while our human perspectives will often lead us down a road of hopelessness, we have a Redeemer and we can trade our broken perspectives in exchange for his.
His perspective is full of hope for your life. That regardless of what you may be facing, He has a purpose and a plan for your life.
Even in the unexpected.
Even the “bad” or the “losing” truly is for His Glory AND your good.
I lost much in 2024, but I gained so much more along the way.
I know I’ll face trials in the future and I hope that as I continue to grow in my faith I can start to see them as pure joy.
Lord,
As I face unexpected things, help me to position my mind and heart on you, that I might find joy in the moment and give all glory to you.
Like Paul, help me to lean on your strength to get us through when circumstances don’t follow my carefully crafted plans.
Allow me to adapt quickly to the new and unknown that I might not lose sight of what’s truly important in the moment.
Amen
Jessica left the corporate world to pursue her true dream job—being a mom to three adorable boys. When she’s not enjoying a cup of tea, making sourdough, or chasing down one of her boys, she loves to share her faith and encourage other moms in their motherhood journeys.
Jessica left the corporate world to pursue her true dream job—being a mom to three adorable boys. When she’s not enjoying a cup of tea, making sourdough, or chasing down one of her boys, she loves to share her faith and encourage other moms in their motherhood journeys.