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Embracing Messy Play for Your Child’s Growth
March 30, 2024 | 5 min read
Ally Veldhuisen
As parents, we’re constantly bombarded with advice to let our kids explore, get creative, and embrace mess. But when it comes down to it, watching your little one smear finger paint across the walls or dump an entire box of cereal on the floor can be cringe-worthy! Messy play is such an aesthetic in theory, but the reality often fills me with dread over the potential cleanup nightmares. Anyone else?
I find myself just entering into true messy play as my son enters toddlerhood, and despite all of my hesitations, I know that allowing him to engage in messy activities is crucial for his development.
Research confirms that messy play has countless developmental benefits. The University of Iowa finds that allowing children to get hands-on with open-ended materials builds critical thinking and problem-solving abilities. Messy play aids in developing fine and gross motor skills as kids manipulate various textures and materials (Messy Play in the Early Years, Sue Gascoyne). Messy play also provides an outlet for emotional expression and self-regulation. By giving kids the freedom to explore through sensory play, parents are fostering invaluable learning opportunities across multiple domains.
And yet, even with all of this research staring me in the face, why is getting dirty so overwhelming when it should be just plain fun?!
As a former teacher, I know that modeling is one of the highest forms of teaching, but that’s probably also why it’s so difficult.
What if in order to make messy play less overwhelming, I actually have to relearn messy play for myself, first?
What if I can use messy play to show that we aren’t messy all the time, while teaching how to handle a mess well?
What if I modeled handling a mess not only physically, but emotionally, socially, or spiritually?
Each of these questions could be a blog in and of themselves… and maybe they will someday (let me know if you want to hear more). In the meantime, though, here are a few practical strategies for PHYSICAL messy play that I have found helpful with 1-3 year olds:
Set aside a specific space (or spaces), like a corner of the playroom or section of the kitchen, where your child can get messy. Cover the area with an easy-to-clean mat or tarp. Try using your bathtub (if you have one) as a designated messy play space–not only does it provide its own boundaries, but it makes cleaning up a breeze! Or maybe try a helper tower and set a precedent for messy activities to happen up on the counter.
Put your child in clothes that can get dirty or stained so that you don’t have to worry about ruining their good clothes. You’ll have way more fun if you’re not concerned about how on earth you’ll get those potential stains out. Or grab a great waterproof suit for messy activities inside or out if stains are NOT your jam.
Demonstrate that messy play is allowed only in the designated area. While this is difficult with such a young child, use visual cues, like tape on the floor, to define the boundaries. Redirect your child to the appropriate space for the activity persistently. If they continue to push the boundaries, clean up and try again later.
Resist the urge to just do it for them. Involve your child in the clean-up process. Make it a game or sing a clean-up song to make it more fun. Praise them for their efforts, even if they’re not perfect. Have baby wipes, a damp cloth, and a broom or small vacuum nearby for quick clean-ups post-play.
If the child is at the age where everything goes in their mouth anyway, consider trying edible materials for messy play. Pudding, yogurt, or Cheerios are safe if consumed and can be easily cleaned up. If your child is past the mouthing stage, try finger paints, play dough, kinetic sand, or shaving cream. Got kids in both stages? Try an edible play dough recipe to hedge your bets.
If an activity is getting too messy or overwhelming, transition to a cleaner activity to give yourself a break and prevent the mess from getting out of hand. If messy play is particularly hard for you, you might even set a timer for 10 minutes and challenge yourself to be okay with the mess for that amount of time.
The best place to be messy is outdoors! Be sure to closely supervise your child, especially if they are still at the stage where they will quickly put things in their mouth. Allow nature to provide all the materials you need to engage in messy play, and relax knowing clean-up isn’t necessary. (Dressing for the mess is crucial for outdoor mess-merriment.)
As overwhelming as it may feel, embracing messy play is a valuable investment in your child’s development. Not only can it create lasting memories, but it also fosters creativity, problem-solving skills, emotional expression, and sensory exploration—all vital building blocks for their growth and learning.
Remember, the mess is temporary, but the benefits of this kind of play last a lifetime. So take a deep breath, put on your “messy play” mindset, and let your little ones get messy.
Now, as for modeling how to handle the emotional, social, or spiritual messes… those tips might not be so straightforward. However, as you settle into the discomfort of messy play, remind yourself that it’s also okay to spend time sitting in the unenjoyable messes of life, too.
Lord, as I prepare for playtime, allow me to find peace in the mess. Not only as my child plays, but also as I navigate life.
I am not just passing the time with this activity. But rather, with patience and guidance, I am helping build experiences that will foster growth in this child.
As we enjoy messy play together, allow me to recognize the image this creates for my own circumstances. Help me to reflect on the messy parts of my life: to find comfort in sitting with them, to find joy in allowing them to exist, and to find satisfaction in knowing that you, Father, will help me clean them up when I am done exploring.
As we navigate this activity, help me to be patient. Aid me in teaching my child to obey expectations with grace. Fill my child with awe and wonder, excitement and curiosity, respect and gratitude.
Assist me in seeing this experience through their eyes. Enable me to encounter a child-like joy that will ebb into the rest of my day and flow into my faith.
Thank you, Lord, for walking with us. Thank you for teaching us to whom we belong, even through life’s messes.
Amen