For This House
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
March 24, 2025 | 8 min read
Madi Shae Johnson, guest author
I had been involved in ministry for about fifteen years, and suddenly, I no longer wanted to step foot in church anymore. Thankfully, this was not due to a significant event of suffering or questioning of my religion. It was rather the opposite. Our family had received the biggest blessing imaginable: our first baby was born.
Three months after our son’s arrival, my husband received a call as a pastor to two rural churches. We moved four hours away from our families to start a new life in a community we knew very little about.
Growing up, many of the churches I attended were rather large and had their own services for children and youth. It was a rude awakening upon moving to realize I could not drop my sweet baby off for an hour to partake in worship.
The first months were the easiest. Our son would often sleep through the service, and if he did wake up, I always had a fresh bottle on hand. But as time went on, he learned to walk, and that’s where it got to be extremely difficult.
I was expecting another baby by this point. Chasing a bumbling yet speedy toddler around in the midst of a service while also navigating my ever-increasing baby bump made everything feel hard, almost hopeless.
I often came home from church with tears welling in my eyes. For as long as I can remember, I have loved attending church and engaging with my Christian community. However, at this point, I was discouraged and began to question if it was all worth it. I kept wondering—why attend if I cannot listen to the proclamation of the sweet promises of the gospel?
Along the way, I’ve learned I am not alone in this experience, and there is hope and grace in this season.
If other parents struggling with this difficult season are anything like me, you may be searching for practical answers. I would like to offer some advice, reflecting on what I tried, what worked, and what definitely did not.
When I was at my lowest, I called a mentor in my life who I knew also prioritized bringing her children to worship when they were young. Besides brainstorming with me, she made me feel heard and that I wasn’t crazy for admitting that having children in church was hard work. This recognition from her gave me a sense of rejuvenation.
I would also note, never had this woman and I sat down prior to this conversation to set up a formal mentor-mentee relationship. We simply talked, shared about our lives, and stayed in touch over the course of a few years. If you are seeking someone to give you advice, I suggest just asking them.
People often do not want to overstep, so if you want help, ask.
I tried this a few times, with admittedly very mixed results. I don’t mean being seated at opposite ends of the same row or pew. I mean elbow-to-elbow seating. This may feel uncomfortable at first if this is not where you are used to sitting, but I promise, forcing yourself into a bit closer of community won’t hurt you.
At times, this method worked wonderfully for us, especially with grandmothers in our congregation who always seemed to have toy cars or sweets to share with our children to occupy them for parts of the service.
However, this method did not work well when I failed to ask for their help before church started. If I left my pleas for assistance unspoken, fellow church members would let the kids squeeze by them, and before I knew it, our two toddlers would be trying to run in opposite directions around the sanctuary.
If you try this, make sure to communicate if you want a hand with the kiddos or not.
This was the number one recommendation I found online in my search for answers. However, I will be the first to say that while my children love reading and playing with toys at home, it seems they could not care less about them when we are at church. Church-specific toys or snacks didn’t work for us, and that’s okay. Sometimes, all the goodies and distractions just don’t work, and that’s alright.
Please, do not feel like a failure just because what worked for one family doesn’t work for yours. Also, what works in one season of life may not in the next. As mothers, we have a tremendous gift of adaptation. Our kids change, so we must too. That change is very uncomfortable at times, but we do it. Do not sell your abilities short.
I began to pray more consistently about my struggles of wrangling toddlers at church. I asked the Lord to soften my heart and teach me about who He is through this period of life.
Additionally, I begged the Lord for people to show up for me in ways that I had been too nervous to ask for help. I can firmly say the Lord answers prayer. My appreciation for bringing our children to worship has returned, albeit slowly. Members of the congregation converted unused spaces into “cry rooms,” eventually adding speakers, so that I and other parents could listen and see the service while our children were contained by our sides.
You never know how God may be working on another’s heart to meet a need you have come to Him with.
With all these tips in mind, I want to emphasize one very important point that helped adjust my personal perspective:
Going to church with your children, regardless of whether you need to step out with a crying infant, not-so-potty-trained toddler, or misbehaving child, matters.
It matters because by showing up, it teaches your children that something’s convenience does not directly correlate to its importance in our lives. Yes, church is extremely hard with littles in tow. I will be the first to admit that, even as a pastor’s wife who initially thought my job was to have it all together in worship.
Over time, I had one member after another from the church come up to me on difficult Sunday mornings and share how it is a blessing to hear our baby’s coos during the Scripture reading or see my son run up to stand by his father during Confession and Absolution.
Slowly, I started to see what I initially interpreted as problematic behavior by my kids as a blessing because it reminded me of our most fundamental identity: children of the one, true King.
In 1 John 3:1a (MSG), it reads, “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God!” What an incredible gift! What a beautiful reminder!
One last thing to note, God’s grace isn’t dependent on how well we listen to the sermon. He pours out His love in other ways as well, through communion, baptism, prayer, and Scripture to name a few. He is at work, and showing up to receive these blessings in and through Him may be the greatest thing we can demonstrate to our children.
Lord,
Thank you for full hands, even on Sunday mornings.
Please give me the eternal perspective I need to rest in You when I find it most challenging.
Most of all, thank you for Your grace that You pour out on us daily. Let us rest in the promise of You as our Heavenly Father.
Amen.
Madi currently lives in Minnesota with her two toddlers, husband, and mini-goldendoodle. She is passionate about her faith, motherhood, and building community. In her spare time, you can find Madi Shae reading a good book or going for a run.