For This House
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
Every Season. Every Space. All for Him.
I’ll never forget the day I received a friendship break-up text.
It was a voice text.
I had never experienced a friendship ending like this before. I was sad, hurt, and confused.
As a young mom who had recently moved to a new town, I had been searching for meaningful friendships. I was optimistic and hopeful about finding close friends that I could do life with.
After about a year, my husband and I felt we had found a group of two couple friends that we connected with. I specifically began to grow closer to the women and we even agreed to start a year-long Bible study.
However, one week after we started this study, the world shut down due to COVID.
Suddenly their friendship and this Bible study felt like a lifeline during the COVID pandemic.
Their close friendship was especially meaningful as I was also in the midst of a hard second pregnancy. We encouraged and prayed for one another.
Both women loved Jesus and were also in a similar season of life, young and just embarking into motherhood. I was so eager to share this season of life together and hoped we’d spend many years walking and growing in friendship together.
However, a few months after our year-long study was complete, one friend moved away. The distance and the busyness of life led us to slowly lose our closeness.
The other friend and I saw each other somewhat regularly. Then one day after a few months of not seeing each other, I messaged to see if she wanted to get together. Her response? The earlier mentioned voice text.
While I don’t remember exactly how she said it, she made it clear she no longer wanted to put in the effort to stay friends.
I respected her honesty, but it hurt me.
I will never know the full extent of her side of the story and why it came to this, but the loss of that friendship truly impacted my heart.
When I received the message I was also 10 weeks pregnant with my third child and my emotions were in full force. I cried and spiraled, wondering… Was this all my fault? And if so, what did I do? Was I too needy? Was I too honest? Was I just all around too much?
Suddenly in any new friendship I found myself putting a guard up, feeling insecure where I had previously felt confident.
I used to find it easy to send a text to initiate hanging out, but now I found myself second-guessing and fearful of sending a text. Then if I did send a text I felt anxious that I would receive an “I’d rather never hang out with you” message.
I found myself drawing away from others for fear of my own rejection.
It was not healthy.
After time passed and I had many conversations with my wonderful husband and another trusted friend, I began to slowly see God at work chipping away at my guarded heart.
Rather than trying to understand every detail of why the friendship ended, God gently shifted my focus to what He was doing in my heart.
I began to see God’s timing at work, remembering that He is my only true lifeline.
Miraculously He began to plant little seeds of friendship all over the place. A new, deep friendship wouldn’t grow overnight, but I saw God at work helping me water and nourish these new friendships so that they could grow and blossom over time.
I meditated on Proverbs 3:5–7, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; in all your ways know him, and he will make your paths straight. Don’t be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil”
I gave up control and my own understanding and leaned into trusting Him.
I gave up my anger, my fear, and my worry. I started to work towards healing and forgiveness and looked to God for strength and direction in friendships.
Not to say I didn’t and don’t still have days where I feel unsure and a little scared of receiving a “break up” text, but each day God shows up and shows me how His mercies are new each morning.
Because ultimately He is the most amazing and loving friend I could ever have. And when I reflect on who He is and who He wants me to be, not only will He make my paths straight, but it doesn’t matter if I get a rejection text. I know that my value comes through being His child and I am made whole in Him through His perfect sacrifice.
Friendships may come and go. But God is always by my side, and I trust Him to lead each step along the way.
When I think of the bigger picture through this unexpected loss of friendship, I see how God used that situation for my good, to refine me. It could have been easy to stay stuck in hurt and bitter feelings. However, God worked in my heart to use this experience to grow me and to show His kindness towards me. I harbor no bitterness or ill-will towards this person, rather I hope and pray for the best for her and her family.
In the future, no matter what hard seasons I may face, I am reminded of who God is, that He is faithful and loving. He comforts me and I can trust in Him.
If you are in a place where you are struggling with hurt feelings or loss, I want to encourage you that you can trust God in this hard season. Pray these words below and trust God’s Spirit to work in your heart.
God, I trust you from the bottom of my heart;
I won’t try to figure out everything on my own.
I will listen for your voice in everything I do, everywhere I go;
You are the one who will keep me on track.
I can’t assume that I know it all.
God, I will run to you and run from evil!
You are good and loving and kind.
Amen.
*Prayer is a modified version of Proverbs 3:5-7 from the Message Version.
Katie resides in the Pacific Northwest in the small town of Lynden, WA and currently serves in her church’s Preschool Ministry. She is married to an amazing husband and they have three beautiful kids. When she isn’t folding laundry or doing dishes you might find her exploring outside, reading a book, or baking.
Katie resides in the Pacific Northwest in the small town of Lynden, WA and currently serves in her church’s Preschool Ministry. She is married to an amazing husband and they have three beautiful kids. When she isn’t folding laundry or doing dishes you might find her exploring outside, reading a book, or baking.